I'm a "dad" again. His name is Frankie and he's a young village pup. He was born in November 2020 in Mertarvik.
Don't let his napping fool you, he's an energetic puppy for sure!
Mertarvik is the Yup'ik word for "place to gather water from a spring." Regardless of what you think or feel about global warming, and I certainly don't want to get into that question here, the Yup'ik village of Newtok is eroding in the Ningliq River. Where there once was the flowing Newtok River, now its current sits still and collects sediment, a wonderful drinking water pond going through a salinification process, and peoples homes have been demolished and turned into shipping containers before they were washed away.
I've never been to the west coast of Alaska. I never had a reason to. My mother and her side of my family are from the village of Sleetmute, which is on the Kuskokwim River where I've had the pleasure of racing my fat bike multiple times. I haven't been back to Sleetmute since I was a toddler.
It has been a quite the adjustment for me. The culture here is different from the community that I am in back home. We enjoy high priced beer, drive rather expensive vehicles to jobs that pay us a high wage. We ride bicycles and partake in sooooo many hobbies that cost a huge amount of money. The folks in Mertavik live a much different life. There's berry picking, and bird egg picking. There's fishing, and hunting. Moose aren't abundant in this village, although occasionally I see one swimming across the river. No doubt escaping any would be hunters. The children and dogs run wild, at least the ones not on a leash 24/7. The locals build saunas, I guess that's pretty much what they do for a night out on the town. The folks around town have different priorities. Not necessarily better or worse, just different from the ones you and I have.
I didn't bring a bike here. After another long season of riding and some winter-spring racing, my grip strength is down and my fingers tingle and go numb from time to time. I work everyday, 12 hours a day. I am the lead inspector/assistant project engineer for the building of the airport. We are currently building subgrade, from which we will build the structure of the airport, the airport lighting, and the maintenance buildings. It's a two year project and we are hauling a LOT of shot rock. Maybe this year we will be done with that portion of the work.
Back to the bike. Lets see....where was I...not riding regularly has been quite an adjustment on top of the small village experience. I've had some recent life changes that have also thrown me a curveball and added a lot of confusion, sadness, and happiness. I guess that's why I'm writing this blog post. I thought I would share how I'm dealing with those challenges, and I hope that somewhere along the way I can start to prepare myself for another attempt at the Iditarod Trail Invitational, some new life challenges and a fast run at the Arizona Trail Race 300 next spring.
With the physical aspects of my life, I've had some body imbalances materialize over the past few years both from riding and from accidents.
Some of you might know that I've had some shoulder injuries over the past couple of years. I would say there are good days and there are less than good days with my shoulder. I continue to work on overhead stability and strength.
My right leg has had some nagging issues for the past few years. My foot and ankle has had some sort of pain that is hard to describe, primarily it comes and goes at random times. After separating my AC joint in 2019 I was hiking a lot and in the process rolled my ankle multiple times that summer. I spent most of 2020 not hiking due to some Achilles aches, and also my foot would immediately act up. My knee has had some patellofemoral painfor awhile. When going to PT this past year my therapist did some quick movement tests and found that my quadricep muscles were particularly tight and suggested that I do some work in that area along with building up my glute strength. The idea behind this is to work on opposing muscles, allowing some more mobility in this aspect.
Another area of concern has been my ability to squat. My calf muscles are tight and they don't have much strength. I decided this summer that I wanted to be able to do a pistol squat. In order to do that movement I need to get down low in the squat position, and with my lack of mobility and strength in my calf muscles that isn't going to happen. So I've been working on calf raises. I've moved to single leg calf raises and am working towards being able to do 3-4 sets of 10 per leg.
Overall on the body side, I feel like I'm starting to get it dialed in. My body is healing from volumes of cycling and the running I've been doing this summer feels much better with basically no pain. I'm pretty happy with my adjustments and am looking forward to getting back into training when I get back from Mertarvik this fall.
If you're not interested in emotional or personal issues I suggest that you move to another article or post on the web. :-)
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Are you still there?
Mental health. This has become quite a challenge for me. Much like physical injuries or falling off your bike mental health and recovery are also a challenge. In my professional life, the past few years I've decided that I wanted to challenge myself by taking on more responsibility. I found that the previous position I held became a little stale, unfulfilling if you want to call it that. As an amateur athlete I strive to find my best. I'm always looking for areas to work on and develop. I want to be challenged and I want to be stressed in productive ways. I want to see what I'm made of.
But I also realize that racing and performance are not only what makes for a happy life. Perhaps this is just 40 year old Clint speaking. 20 year old Clint would think that comment was crazy. I've been through a few relationships where I am not happy with how I treated people that I cared about. I don't care for how those significant others and some of my best friends have treated me. I'm not happy with how I've ignored the feelings and ultimately the death of my mother. I don't care for how I've disassociated with people I care deeply about. I don't care for the fact that I didn't finish college. I guess some professionals might call it trauma. I've found that I have a lot of experience with training my body to endure long endurance events but yet, I haven't taken any time to experience some of the feelings and think about the things I want in life. Perhaps this is my midlife crisis.
Kurt Refsnider has a mantra/saying, "Normalize Difficult." I also came to this revelation right around the time that he was talking about it and it was wonderful to hear someone put into words what I am learning and was feeling. But how would you apply that to life outside of sport? In endurance sports, we're doing this because we love riding bicycles. Nobody is twisting my arm and telling me I have to push a loaded bike over Rainy Pass, I'm not starving or thirsty or cold due to circumstances in my life, but because I payed and signed up for it.
I've never thought about what I've truly wanted, I've only tried to keep the ones I loved happy so they wouldn't leave. I spend more time trying to understand difficult contractors in my job than I do the ones that I love. And it's not fair and definitely not what I want and I'm growing very tired of it.
I was warned of this many years ago. Racing can be a lonely road. Days and days training with not one person to speak to. Many nights sitting around my table eating alone. And when I do spend time with people I'm usually toasted from some silly long trainer ride or two-a-days. Sometimes I think about the "counterlife" as I've read in the book "The Glass Hotel." An alternate place where I have a wife, child, house, and dog. I think how it would be to meet my child's teacher. Having an argument about finances with my wife. Seeing my child take it's first steps. Cutting the grass every Sunday. Teaching my child how to play baseball or helping them with their homework. Retiring and running off to explore the country with my significant other. Gaining weight #dadbod.
So I sit here typing in the middle of nowhere. My house is empty. I wish to miss someone. I don't know....anything. It's a disturbing feeling to exist without a known purpose. It feels like I'm mindlessly going through the motions. No children, no serious relationship, and nothing on the horizon. Sometimes I don't even know which direction to look. Racing my bicycle on the Iditarod Trail has taught me so much. But it hasn't taught me the meaning of it all.
This is perhaps my great life challenge. Stay tuned folks, some changes are coming about...
Yay! More Singletrack in Anchorage. Photo Credit: Kate Ginsbach
June 11th: I recognize that some of you reading this might be going through a myriad of emotions and feelings. I hope that you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Know that there are people who care for you and that you'll be alright. Wash your hands, cover your mouth when necessary and treat people nice. Back to your regularly scheduled program.
Teacher: Adjusts reading glasses. Let's see, where were we.....Oh yeah! Rohn!
Students: Sitting at the edge of their seats. Yeah, you left Rohn!!
(I have a weird imagination these days. Must be all that cold weather and darkness. Haha)
Bikepack racing is as much a mental challenge as it is a physical challenge. I would venture to say that it's even more mental than physical at most times. But not always. 😂
After rolling into Rohn and seeing Tyson there my heart picked back up. My mind all of the sudden snapped back to attention and I was energized. I got to chat with my buddy Adrian Baer and new friend Tina Scheer who are both volunteers for the ITI and for the Iditarod. I had a couple of the infamous brats with mustard!!! This is one of my favorite parts of the race.
I proceeded to layout my sleeping system and take a rest. I knew that Tyson and Kurt were probably going to leave earlier than me but that was ok. This was all part of the design. I had visualized this exact situation for the past two years.
I did say two years. In 2018 I busted. I let too large of a gap build between Neil and I and when the weather hit us for the second time I had a tough time keeping it together. In 2019 I knew I would have my hands full racing Tyson and Jay but I felt that if I could keep it together between Rohn and Nikolai then I would have a fighting chance! I felt like I was ready to race but dealing with frozen boots really slowed me down. I’ve spent a lot of time over the past two years thinking about Rohn to Nikolai.
It wasn’t much sleep but it was enough. My heart, mind and body were charged up and I was ready to go!! After drinking some coffee and fueling up more I loaded up my bike with my drop bag items, went to the outhouse to do some body maintenance and took off after my goodbyes!
The trail outside of Rohn is a mountain bikers dream. It’s a wonderful backdrop, rolling hills, usually a nice bit of dirt, and some high speed swoopy turns even! The sun was out, I was totally buzzing! Near the climb up Post River Glacier I rode past a carcass/innerds of a bison. I hadn't seen that before, maybe I would see some bison finally! I continued on down the trail, building momentum as the sun continued to charge my internal battery. I really have visualized myself riding this section over and over. I remember large swaths of it. I have a sweet, light bike to ride. A gear setup that allows me to stay warm, yet not hot so that I can push the pace when I feel like it. I am much better about staying on top of food and water intake. I was just enjoying the great conditions!
Mid day rolled around and sure enough I had reeled Kurt back in. We chatted for a few moments, had a snack. We rode together for a while and not long after catching him we encountered not one but two Bison on the trail!!! I was so stoked! We chased these two giants for about 2 miles or so. They must have taken three giant turds trying to out run us. After each lake or opening in the vegetation we would see them and they would take off running again. After those two deflected from the trail I started to concentrate one the task in hand. I had my eyes on Tyson. The section of Iditarod after Farewell Lakes can be really physically demanding. The little ripples of land go up and down over and over. Each time you rip downhill there's a spicy little uphill that follows. I wanted to stay out of Kurt's eyesight, but I was really focused on catching Tyson.
But I did realize something, after a few hours I had not shaken my tail. I realized at this point that perhaps I had not factored Kurt into my race/equation for the past day. It was at this point I knew that it was going to be a tough finish no matter how it played out. The stakes started to rise, as the temperature began to drop...
During this time though I was looking for signs. It's always tough to lead. But Tyson is very good at it, he's known as a guy who likes to set the pace. And he can set a really high one.
This is a bit passed where we all were when the snow machines passed by. Here, I knew that I would be able to approximate how far Tyson was ahead of us.
As we were nearing Sullivan Creek I heard a noise. The distinct sound of a snow machine! Perfect! Now I'll be able to tell how far ahead Tyson is! I also noted that the trail conditions were getting softer and softer, maybe these big hunting/touring sleds will give us some sort of base to ride on! (Hahahahahahahahahaha!!! Oh boy how I was wrong!) I chatted with the guys a little bit and started moving forward again. I figured at Sullivan Creek that I would pump up my tires, fill up my camelbak bladder with water and get ready for a battle!
I got to Sullivan, filled up the bladder and made sure that it was sealed well. I checked/adjusted my gear, tightened down my boots and put on another layer as the temps were dropping quick. I went up the trail a ways to take a pee then filled up my tires with a good amount of air in preparation for the night time trail conditions. I continued to ride and wouldn't you know! I saw where Tyson had pulled over for the snow machines and calculated that he was only about 30 minutes in front of me!!!
But something was happening that I didn't expect. I continued riding down the trail and it kept getting harder and harder to pedal. Not the type of difficulty because I was tired, but because the trail had not gotten any harder from the traffic. The sun set, still no base. I let some of the air out. Continued down the trail...still very difficult to pedal. I was getting a little worried. I stuck with my gut and let more air out of my tires. Before I knew it I had let all the air out that I had added, and proceeded to let even more out. Then, I noticed that I was going pretty slow. Ugh...
But there's something about a race. The chase. There's a spark in your gut that happens. The world around you begins to slow, and the outside conditions no longer grab your attention. I knew that I was going to catch Tyson in front of me. I began to think that perhaps this was my chance. I needed to make my move when/if I caught him.
This was it. Time to turn and burn!
Guess what? While crossing one of the many swamps I saw a light flicker ahead. My heart rate must've spiked 20 beats! I pause for about half a mile or so. I just followed him at his pace to see how he was going. It felt like I was super comfortable so I knew that he was starting to get tired. I started to get myself hyped up, I knew that I was in for a long stretch. If I made my move this was it. No turning back. He started to slow down and I think he may have been waiting for us to catch him. When I pulled up to him he sounded very tired. I passed him and wished him luck, took another look back to see Kurt's light and decided to light it up!
Students: How cold was it? Wasn't that scary? Teacher: It was around -40, and yeah, it's risky at that temperature. But experience and lots of training prepares you to handle these kind of situations. You can practice visualizing what you're going to do in these situations.
What happened next was my most intense 3MPH bike race I've ever been in. Hahaha I knew I was digging deep, I proceeded to sweat a large amount. I was committed now. After about 30 minutes to an hour of pushing the pace I decided that I needed to slowly dry my layers by dropping the pace gradually. I looked behind me and didn't see a headlamp but I didn't want them to see mine so I shut it off. I think I only turned my light on for a handful of minutes just to change the view for my sanity. Midnight, one o'clock, two o'clock, three o'clock. At this point we were no longer riding our bikes. It was a HUGE effort to grind out 2.5-3mph. I could quickly hike at basically the same pace. I started doing this process of running/shuffling from bush to bush. 10 feet, 50 feet at a time. It was a bit scary putting out this much effort but amazing at the same time. I started thinking about how long I needed to rest in Nikolai.
Eventually around 4AM I was greeted by Nicholas Carmen of Baja Divide fame on the trail. He was touring/volunteering for the ITI at this checkpoint. I was happy to see him, perhaps I spent a bit too much time chatting with him but my spirits were high and I wanted to be stoked.
It was cold, Tyson's thermometer read -44 for a long time. PC: Nicholas Carmen
Yeah, this is how I roll. Haha PC: Nicholas Carmen
Nikolai has usually been a quiet destination. If you've ever interacted with small village folk you know that they express their pleasantries and usually go about their business. But the ITI volunteers are a hearty breed! They were super stoked to see the leaders coming in! And honestly I was pretty stoked to see them! I got into the town community center and proceeded to give them a trail update and had a nice burger! High class living. As I was eating I would fall asleep mid sentence, mid bite. Haha
I put my head down. The world quickly turned to black...
Hours passed. I woke up quite a bit later than my alarm.
The gap that I had worked really hard to build was gone. I was a little bummed. But there was nothing I could do about that now and I had to snap out of it. I was super groggy, my body was tired from days of walking and riding and I was facing the last 50 miles racing against two really fast dudes. We had a great breakfast that the checkpoint volunteers prepared for us and the sun was out, we were at least going to have a nice afternoon! Kurt asked a question about how this could go down. In a very inviting way, he was open to however we as a group wanted to race. I can't remember what I said, it was a little bit of a groggy response that didn't even make sense to me and Tyson I think basically remained silent and didn't respond to the question. I could tell that we all realized that it was time for the group to go on their own now.
We gathered our gear, said our goodbyes and set up. David Frearson flew his drone around us as we left the village of Nikolai. I started out a little hard hoping to see those two drop off the pace. And proceeded to get really hot. I had to stop, let air out, drop a jacket and get my stuff situated. Tyson had also started a bit hard. Kurt was the caboose but within an hour he had passed me as I had got my ear bud wrapped up in a low hanging branch. He bolted up to Tyson.
Then he was gone. It happened so fast, after many days it almost didn't seem like it was real. I caught up to Tyson and he mentioned that we were a long ways out and that we would probably catch him. I just remember thinking I don't know man, he's a strong dude and if he didn't think he could hold the lead then he probably wouldn't have done it. I told Tyson that I had to at least try to catch him.
Looking back at the Trackleaders page he had pulled 20 minutes out by the Kuskokwim River. Around 2:07PM Kurt's battery died in his SPOT, right along with my bodies battery. I was delirious, every part of my body was tired. I made efforts to hold a high rate of speed for what felt like hours on hours. I looked back and didn't see Tyson, and at every swamp and lake I would look across hoping to catch a glimpse of a bike rider. Eventually, as I kept coming to openings I realized that time was running out. The road outside of McGrath has a long viewpoint into town. I didn't see Kurt.
I realized that I couldn't let off the gas. I didn't know how far back Tyson was. The trail outside of McGrath is littered with moose tracks. The fastest way over them is to just sit and hammer through them. Each hit radiated through my seat and up my back, through my arms to my shoulders. After a while I realized that I was going to pay for this but it was too late to do anything about it. I just wanted to get to the plowed road...
The finish! PC: Corrie Smith
FOOD!!! PC: Corrie Smith
Tyson and I were just about to leave for the Airport, Aaron Thrasher had just finished. Kurt was resting up in McGrath and preparing to move on down the trail at a touring pace. PC: Corrie Smith
I sit here June 11th thinking about how much fun this race was and how close I was. I think about how this last year was pretty damn tough for me and represented a lot of change. I faced a lot of difficult times and emotions. I think about all my great friends who supported me and propped me up when I needed it. I think about my furry little friends, Sachi (RIP) Palmer (RIP) Dot, Emma and that little terrorizer (he's actually a mini Aussie, not a Terrorizer) Chucky. I think about my family and their unconditional love that they show me. I think about all the help I get from my bike friends and their words of encouragement. I think about how lucky I was to travel on the Iditarod Trail again with such amazing and awesome competitors. I think about the great volunteers who always have a helping hand.
There's a great Bruce Springsteen song "Dancing in the Dark."
You can't start a fire, Sitting around cryin' over a broken heart, This gun's for hire, Even if we're just dancing in the dark. You can't start a fire, Worrying about your little world falling apart, This gun's for hire, Even if we're just dancing in the dark.
I may not have won the race, but as I rolled into McGrath I felt accomplished. I no longer am searching for the finish line. I left everything out in the swamps, lakes and tundra of the interior. It's as if, the wind picked up my worries and swept them away. This race was what I needed, it was a spark, even if we're just dancing in the dark.
Exciting racing consists of a few principles in my opinion.
Enough participants with differing approaches and strengths/weaknesses. Some folks ride quickly between checkpoints with longer breaks. Some ride at a more slower pace to ride with shorter breaks.
Ebb and flow. This can be described how the race begins to oscillate. This sets the table for things to come, so to speak.
The timing of movements. IE: when the participants attack and respond, hang back etc.
Student: But teacher, what do you do when you can't ride? Teacher: You walk...
I was really enjoying my trip across the flats before the Shell Hills. Hard trails, sun and a slight breeze in my face (hahahahahahahahahahaha.) I've really started to develop my pacing at this point and am feeling really good after my rest in Skwentna! I got to Shell Lake and I realized that the wind was really starting to pick up. I stopped to chat with the volunteers at Shell Lake and they were so friendly! They gave me the news of wind blown trail in the most positive way possible. 😅
I moved out of Shell Lake and started to make my way out of the wooded areas that surround it. I had a feeling that as soon as I hit the first swamp that I was going to have some walking to accomplish.
The green is wooded areas. The lighter color brown is the Skwentna River and the dark colored brown patches/spots are swampy open areas. Satellite image Google
Here's another view of the terrain we're covering. Image from Trackleaders website
The above image shows the area we traverse to get from Shell Lake to Finger Lake on the far left of the image. As you can see, it's not particularly steep or technical. What it is though, is exposed. The winds in the Alaska Range are no joke. Not long after Shell Lake, I found myself occasionally walking on the wind blown Iditarod Trail. I was able to ride occasionally and if there is one thing that I know is that you ride when you can, walk when you can't. That's the only way to approach tougher conditions. Eventually I caught Kurt, and not long after that we caught Tyson. We were basically crawling at this point. The wind was whipping, the trail was gone in spots. Tyson, Kurt and I were not racing at this point. We were working together to find and break trail.
Tyson, Kurt and I on our first date. He went to Jared! Photo Credit: Kurt Refsnider
Photo Credit: Kurt Refsnider
It took us over 8 hours to get from Shell Lake to Finger Lake checkpoint. We were now over 30 hours into the race. The great checkpoint worker set us up with our choice of chicken or veggie burritos, donuts, and other baked goods. They also grabbed our drop bags for us. All three of us were a little thrashed from the wind and slow trail at this point. We had our food then headed down to the wall tent on the lake where surprisingly enough it was warm. Might I even say comfortable!
I set my alarm for a couple hours, the guys asked me and I said I was gonna get up in a couple hours. Tyson kind of gave me a look and Kurt straight up said he was going to get a decent nights sleep. Haha I thought to myself Ok, I guess I can put my head down for the night.
Many hours later there was a rustle outside the wall tent and in walks Pete Basinger. He made a comment about how tough the conditions were! Anybody who knows Pete knows he's been through just about every kind of conditions. When he made a comment about the wind I knew that we had been through some tough stuff.
Not much later we started packing up our gear, loaded up our food and supplies from our drop bags and one by one we left the checkpoint. I took a moment to chat with Aaron Thrasher who looked a little thrashed (haha I know I'm funny) and the first place woman competitor KT Coward (holy cow that lady is a bad ass, yet also looked a little thrashed.) They each had quite a night getting to the checkpoint. KT had lost her GPS. Crazy!
The wind had died down and the trail is also mostly protected until you're just outside of Puntilla Lake/Rainy Pass Lodge so I was hopeful that the trail would be in decent condition. I was hopeful that we would find the SnowCat road and sure enough we found it! I started down it and not long after I saw one set of tire tracks continue on the SnowCat trail and one hopped back onto the traditional Iditarod route. I stopped for a moment, and realized I didn't really have anything to lose by going on the SnowCat trail. I had done some homework on that route in it's previous iterations and knew that if popped onto the Skwentna River and would tie into the Gorge on the other side of the Happy River. About 5 or so minutes going down the SnowCat trail I was a little bummed to run into Kurt coming back up the trail. He mentioned that there was some Open water and that the trail went down the Skwentna river versus up. I hit the reset button and headed back to the intersection with the traditional Iditarod Trail.
Happy River Steps! WHOA COWBOY!😲 Photo Credit: Kurt Refsnider
Starting the Happy River Gorge. This is always a pleasant push.💓Photo Credit: Kurt Refsnider
Getting to Happy River always feels like a milestone for me. It's like taking the first big step into the Alaska Range. Although we had a good blast of wind the night before, I consider the weather much more intense usually after crossing the Happy River.
I wanted to catch back up to Tyson, giving him any gap is pretty dangerous at this point. When the trail conditions are good you need to cover ground as efficiently as possible. I once again started to gap Kurt while attempting to chase down Tyson.
Riding loaded fat tired bikes is hard work. It's particularly hard chasing after someone as fast as Tyson. I knew that putting out too much effort would cost me, but I gotta stay close to the leader at this point. This was a goal I aimed to accomplish this year. In prior years, I thought that you could save enough energy to cover gaps later in the race. And perhaps that works in regions of the world where the weather has less of an abrupt impact on trail conditions and speed. In 2018, I gave Neil too large of a gap and got hung up in a couple storms. In 2019 I banked that my speed would get me from Rohn to Nikolai faster than Tyson. I didn't count on freezing my boots. Both of these times it ended up biting me in the rear.
I didn't catch Tyson, and Kurt ended up catching me once we got out into the swamps and open areas just outside of Puntilla Lake. I wasn't so concerned with my speed, but more at the thought that we weren't going to be staying at the next checkpoint for too long. As the wind continued to blow I knew that we were going to be in for a long night with minimal rest. I allowed the sunlight to power my attitude and soul. I let the mild temps keep my mind at ease. I tried to stick with the game plan, eat, drink and conserve energy when possible.
Making our way to Puntilla Lake! Photo Credit: Kurt Refsnider
There was a lot of this happening. The winds affects are cumulative at times, not bad at a moment but difficult after hours and hours. Photo Credit: Kurt Refsnider
My intuition was correct. When Kurt and I rolled into Rainy Pass Lodge, Tyson was hanging out and not sleeping. After competing with folks you start to understand or read their activity levels in checkpoints. I could tell that Tyson wasn't going to stick around for long. I think that Kurt knew this as well. I was mentally prepared for the difficulty of the Pass, but I knew that physically this was going to push me up to my limit.
I stuffed some food in my belly, hung up to dry some of my gear, if not completely at least a little bit. It's at this time that you've gotta put your game face on. The Pass is rarely gentle. I don't know much about the Alaska Range but I believe that it's usually windy. Boy was it ever windy this time. To give you an idea of what the Range can throw at you I suggest this article: Emotional Atrophy in the Revelation Range
I haven't been pinned down yet in the five times I've left Puntilla Lake. But I've definitely pushed my abilities and my comfort levels. Not long after riding out of the depression that the lake sits in I found myself in a gnarly wind storm again. I got my wind gear on, setup my face system and kept riding. I don't know what the temperature was at this point. It's usually best that I don't know.
Starting the windy run from Rainy Pass Lodge to Rohn. Photo Credit: Kurt Refsnider
I met up with Kurt once again, and we played some non competitive leap frog. We would do this a couple of times. I realized that this was not the time to be racing like this. There comes a point in this event where you work together. This became one of those times. We were on and off the bike. When we did ride, it was painstakingly slow. Most of the time I was riding in my easiest gear. The trail was rock hard across the valley floor, heck I could see a Johnny 5 track that Nicholas Carmen left a week prior yet we were still going very slow due to the speed of the wind!
At one point I took my hands out of my pogies. I realized that they were extremely cold after just accomplishing a short task and not long after putting them back in I was met with some Screaming Barfies. I could also tell that there was some wind leakage happening on my face system. I tried to seal up the cracks but there's only so much you can do at this point without causing more harm than good. I made it so I was somewhat comfortable and continued on.
Atop the Pass. Photo Credit: Kurt Refsnider
Student: How do you stay awake for so long? Don't you get tired? Teacher: Well, it's easy to make the decision to keep going when you don't have a comfortable sleeping system.
Kurt is tough. Tyson is tough. I can only imagine what was going through Tyson's mind going over the pass on his own. It's a long time to be in one's own mind. I knew that he wasn't going to fly on the way up to the Pass, but I wasn't sure at this point what kind of gap there would be when we descended to the Dazell and Tatina Rivers. I pushed myself up towards the pass. I knew I was getting tired. I worked hard on remembering to eat and drink. But I was beginning to fail. My steps, although strong were unstable at times. I was having difficulty controlling my breathing rate. Occasionally, I would stop and put my head on the handlebars or seat. Getting shelled for days at this point was starting to take it's toll on my body and on my mind. It took Kurt and I almost seven hours to get from the lodge to the Pass.
Being Kurt's first time up the Pass I looked for the sign. Not knowing it was right there off the trail next to where I started my tromping around. I walked about a bit, went back to him after giving up. 😂He took a picture of me, I attempted to put a Fatback sticker on the post and failed cause it was so cold and the sticker part wasn't sticking. Kurt started making his way down from the Pass. I had mentioned to him earlier that there usually isn't much riding down the pass if it's been windy and this time was no different. I was struggling to hang with him now. In a bit of a "drunken" stumble I noticed he had stopped and his body language had changed from pushing a bike to one of heightened awareness. I looked in the general direction his head was pointed and saw a flash of green lasers point back at me. It was a wolf!!
You'd have to check with Kurt but I'm pretty sure this is what it looked like. Haha
This is one of the most super intense moments of my adventure on the Iditarod Trail!!! The wolf had popped out of the den not more than 150 feet away from us! A moment later Kurt started walking again and I followed, we stopped maybe 25 feet from the den and looked towards the entry. There were a couple of small holes and surrounding the den were dark yellow stains were they wolves had marked their territory. How amazing is this!??!?!! For a moment I had forgotten just how tired I was and how windy it had been.
But, even the intensity of being that close to a wolf wore off quickly. Kurt and I started back down the trail and not long after the sleep monster hit me hard. I could tell that Kurt was slowing down as well. In years past I've moved quickly through here when the conditions allowed. Not this time. I was starting to have mental difficulties. Every time I made a turn, every time I pedaled with any authority I felt immediate fatigue throughout my whole body. My core wouldn't stabilize. My breathing out of control, I quit eating and drinking. I felt my eyes crossing what felt like every 5-10 feet.
Student: What's it feel like? Being that tired? Teacher: Imagine losing most of your eyesight, but just a needle of light is all that's let in. The only thing you can do is focus on the little sliver of a vision. That's all you're holding onto. You're soooo tired but you don't dare let go of that hope.
12 hours total time from Puntilla to Rohn. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little bummed when we rolled into Rohn that morning. I thought the gap would be too large to overcome if the conditions were good. (muahahahahaha!!! This is why you gotta keep fightin'! You never know what's coming next!)
Photo Credit: Mike Morganson (2014 or '15?)
I was pretty beat now. I just wanted to stuff some food in my face and make my way into my sleeping bag. When we made it to the checkpoint I noticed Tyson's highlighter yellow 9:ZERO:7 and when we walked into the tent there he sat, looking just about as dazed and confused as I was.
Well well well, looks like we got a race here boys and girls!!😎
First things first. Thanks to Geri, Dad, Sachi (RIP pup), Revolution Racing, Speedway Cycles, Longevity Lab for helping fix my shoulder, Fatback Bikes and Ariel the Mermaid for all the support. Each of you have been helpful and selfless. I appreciate the heck outta you guys. We really kicked butt this year. 💖
I don't know about you guys but sometimes my mind is racing a thousand miles an hour! One positive of this Coronavirus reality is that I've had time to be mindful. About everything...😏
I guess I should start the actual race report now. 😜
Imagine, a class room setting. Teacher: The Iditarod Trail is.... (what do you think reader? Don't worry, I'll wait.) Rando student: It's a route that dog sled teams blah blah blah virus blah blah blah vaccine blah blah blah Nome blah blah blah Another Rando kid: Balto is such a cute dog!
Aaron Thrasher and myself at the start. PC Geri Hodges
Ten years ago today (April 5th, 2010) I bought my first nice bike. Just some useless trivia info that no one will ever ask you or that you will ever need to remember. 😆
Teacher: Anybody else?
Whatever you thought about the Iditarod Trail is wrong. But also right. You're probably wondering what the heck I am talking about. It's the reason why we adventure. Whatever your preconceived notions of what this race is, or is going to be, is right and wrong.
It must have been the toughest year? This was the hardest Iditarod you've done right? How many miles did you guys walk? Sufferfest, slog, frostbite, heartbreaking, windy, snow......
Yes, it was hard. Yes, it was tough. I walked about 35 or so miles. Yes, it was windy sometimes. Yes it was really cold in the interior.
Switching gears, I felt like the buzz was a little thick at the start this year, amongst racer, organizer and fan alike. I think there was excitement regarding the racer field but this time there was a "weather" buzz that I had not quite experienced in years past. I think many athletes seemed to be ignoring the impending snowfall and began about their usual pre-weekend race prep. But the excitement seemed to be a little less from some. (Nothing personal, just my general observation.)
There's some heavy hitters here. PC Corrie Smith
Starting our adventure across Knik Lake. PC Andy Pohl
Aaron Thrasher on the road to McGrath and fat bike greatness! Haha
More Thrashing about! LOL
I spoke with Aaron Thrasher a little bit on the road. I enjoyed chatting with him, I was a little envious of him as a rookie because I have such fond memories of my first time on the trail. :end proud dad moment:
It's important at this time to just get into your natural position of the race but don't let yourself get bogged down in less than ideal conditions. I don't want to be too far down the field as the trail conditions go from rideable to difficult and you don't want to squander an opportunity either. I noticed Tyson and Kurt were making their way towards Ayeshire in a hurried fashion and moved on my way after them.
I'm always happy to see a crowd gather along the course. I miss high fives. 😞PC Julie Saddoris
More friends on the trail! PC Sean Grady
Making our way to Flathorn Lake. PC Kurt Refsnider
We made our way into the snow. It became apparent to me quickly that we were gonna have a slow first day. Tyson, Kurt and I were riding but with a decent amount of effort and not very quickly. My attention quickly turned to body temperature. The slower conditions, warmth and snow could cause some issues with sweating my gear out too much. Because of that I decide to just keep those two guys in sight. It sounds like the three of us made it through this first part of the race in much better shape than others.
Teacher: This is the first opportunity that I invite you to think about what the Iditarod Trail means to you. Are you ready to walk your bike? Teacher's Pet to class: When was the last time you dropped the tire pressure down to "wrinkle?" You ever run out of water on the trail? Smart ass at the back of the class under their breathe while putting gum under the desk: "shut up teacher's pet, bet you brush off teacher's car when it snows..." 😏
In the past four years that I've started this event, the lead pack made it to Yentna Station in anywhere from 630PM in 2016 to 1AM this year! After crossing Flathorn Lake very slowly the three of us found ourselves walking. By the time we hit the Wall of Death we were together in a pack. The three of us wondered if Pete Basinger and the folks that went down another trail were ahead of us. When we hit Susitna Station we saw no visible trail which calmed our nerves and we went back about our business. We traded spots a few times while riding on occasional sprinkles of harder trail but we were mostly walking all the way to Scary Tree (Yentna and Susitna confluence.) I knew that at this point we were going to be turning our lights on, pumping tires back up, dealing with water supplies, and back to riding again. Kurt took some time to boil water while Tyson and I motored on up the river. When we got to Yentna Station, we were drying out, having cheese sandwiches, chicken noodle soup and a couple cokes while chatting nicely. Tyson and I have spent time talking together but this was the first time that the three of us were together in close quarters and we took this time to just talk and enjoy what the trail was at this point. About an hour after showing up we each made our way out the door and back on the trail.
Now I don't want to mis-represent what it means to race. We were evaluating each other, much like a poker game. I think the three of us were comfortable and confident with ourselves and were looking forward to the trail. We were starting to get the "feel" for it and how fast we could do the event in.
In 2016 we arrived at Skewentna at 9PM. We were almost 12 hours behind that time already.
I wasn't trying to reel anyone in but I wanted to just focus on my pace. Thus I caught and passed Kurt and caught Tyson within a few miles of the checkpoint. Together we rode for the remainder of the night until just before the checkpoint with Kurt not far behind us.
Tyson is somewhat a known quantity to me. I have raced him before and I've seen just how fast he can go. I felt like at this point Kurt had turned on the cruise control and was just managing his energy output. I think I had even told Tyson that I felt Kurt was "throttling back."
We each had a nice meal and drinks while in Skwentna Roadhouse. (That makes it sound like we had dinner together like it was a date. Haha) It was neat to see the Census workers in the lodge doing their thing. I decided to get a bed at the lodge. I know that my each year my back is really tight after the first 90 miles so I decided to get a nap and to put my legs up on the wall. Those guys kind of gave me a weird look when I said I was going to sleep, but again, I was feeling comfortable and confident and felt like prioritizing my body was the right thing to do at this point for my race.
I didn't need a long sleep, just about 20-30 minutes then about 15 minutes to put my feet up and get some of the kankle action to subside. This felt great! I paid my bill, hopped on the bike and proceeded to make my way towards Finger Lake.
Grizzled ITI competitor. Hahahaha Just outside of Skwentna on the SnowCat track. Notice my legit Bend, OR SingleSpeed World Championship Buff.
The trail was in really good shape outside of Skwentna! I've never seen the Shell Hills in the daylight. There is a contractor that built a snowcat trail that you could probably drive a large tired vehicle on! That's been a common theme this year on the trail from multiple competitors. Seeing sections of the trail in the daylight is one of those side stories that develop each year on the trail. For sure slow conditions are hard, but it comes with its own set of positives. Again, the trail is everything you think it is and not. Thanks Teach.
What was going to happen next was just the beginning of our true adventure. This was just the appetizer...
Early season Autocross 2010 PC Matthew Milenkovic?
I've been contemplating in my mind what I want to write for my race report. Of course, there's the typical approach of the start, all the stuff that happened along the way, and then the finish with some pretty pictures. And that may seem like the race report but it doesn't cover my journey. Not even close. I've been thinking about what it means to me to compete. What is my timeline? Where did I start? How did I get to where I am now?
My mind and conscience, how have they grown? How have they not? Racing up to this point in my life has, not to sound super dorky, been my life's work. Some folks look to art. Some to their profession. Some, even the way they live their life. My story has always been racing.
The sensation of speed as I remember it, came rather subconsciously. As a young child growing up on West 27th Avenue between Minnesota and Spenard, I would develop these complex tracks and cities that I would push my little hotwheels around on in the dirt. I would imagine the sensation of speed and drifting around corners.
Some of my favorite tv shows were Knight Rider, Transformers and MacGyver. I remember when my dad got his first serious remote control car, a 12th Scale Kyosho Plazma pan car. He had a beautiful Harley Davidson 1200cc Sportster that I absolutely loved to ride on the back with him. Hell, I used to fall asleep on it. Haha
One summer afternoon I was playing in the street with my friend Skippy, and he told me about BMX Racing. We used to race up and down the street and I was one of the faster kids, but I think what really hooked me was the rush of adrenaline from competing.
More BMX Racing. This is a better representation of what I was doing.
We raced behind the YMCA on what was actually a really nice track. I really like BMX racing and picked it up quickly. My dad built me up a sweet GT Mach 1 (from Paramount Cycles when it was on Northern Lights.)
I was 9 years old I think. 1989/1990. Yes, that's a sweet mullet.
I enjoyed BMX but the YMCA felt differently about the BMX crowd. I guess we were just a little too Bad Boy for them.
It didn't take long for me to pick up another competitive hobby. This time it was Remote Control cars. Some folks may think they are toys, but there is a legit, serious crowd and market for them.
It was R/C cars were I started to learn the intricacies of racing. Thousands of setup options are available on competitive style R/C cars. Roll centers, toe, bump steer, ride height, spring weight, anti-roll bars, electric motors, battery matching, tire compounds are all common words thrown around the world of R/C car racing. There were many different classes of racing, 4wd touring cars, Pan cars (Prototype bodied, light, quick and high grip) for indoor/outdoor racing and 2WD/4WD offroad classes! During the summer, I would play baseball (another story, another day) but as soon as the temperatures started to drop I would turn the heat up and charge the batteries on the R/C's!
Eventually the R/C club started to peter out. It's enjoyed a resurgence a various times in Anchorage. When I got into high school I started to follow motorsports. My friend who I met through a church youth group had a Honda XR100.
A Honda XR100 that I learned to ride around my friends house. We used to jump it into snow berms in the winter!
Ohhhhh man! My mind was blown!
My first opportunity to borrow money from the bank! 1995 Suzuki RM125
I really enjoyed riding dirt bikes. I pleaded with my father to let me get a motocross bike. He made some deals with me, I had to work for it. I learned how to perform the maintenance, upgrades and taking care of the other responsibilities that came with owning a motocross bike. I got my first job and the payments were made by me. I remember riding the bus to work, going to the bank to make a payment. I even did a couple of motocross races. They were really tough. I wasn't that strong when I was younger and continued to try and ride often to get better and stronger. Not long after, I was 16 years old. You know what that means, getting your license! I was already looking at pickup trucks to carry my dirt bike.
My dad helped me buy a 1992 Nissan Hardbody P/U for my first vehicle. Man, I used to look forward to washing my truck and bike. I was hooked. I loved driving. It gave me a sense of freedom, independence and need to explore. Not long after that, I absorbed my dad's 1988 GMC Sportside P/U. We lowered it, put some cool tires and wheels on it and a nice exhaust. I was so cool ;-P
Here's an example, mine was black and the exhaust exited in the rear.
The next part of my life is a bit of a blur. I was grappling with growing up, rebelling against anyone who knew better then I, and experiencing difficulties dealing with my feelings. I didn't take very good care of myself, emotionally and physically. I ended up getting a DUI, lost my job, got removed from my Associates program with only one semester left to finish. It was a dark moment in my life. I felt pretty lost. I felt like that wasn't what I wanted in my life. After some stellar parenting by my dad, I got a job at Young's Gear building driveshafts and doing bench repairs. I got back on track making by car payments. My dad continued to let me stay with him (like any good millennial right?) I doubled down on car racing. I found something that I wanted to be great at. Racing.
One of my best friends and I decided to build a race car. We had grand visions of road racing and ultimately racing the Fur Rondy Grand Prix (RIP.) I won't go into it as that's another story but I had found my calling. I had something in life to be passionate about again. It was all I ever thought about. I traveled to the 12 Hours of Sebring, Petit LeMans many times. I worked, daydreamed, raced and built cars. I always thought about how I could better my skills. I thought of ways to make the 1986 Mazda RX7 handle better. I thought about how I could adjust my 2006 Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution to get a little closer to what was at the time the quickest car up here, the Nissan GT-R. I spent two winters in Laguna Seca at Skip Barber learning the in's and out's of race car driving. It was there that I learned I was out of shape. I was trying to compete with younger, smaller versions of humans. I knew that if I wanted to go faster, I had to lose some weight.
There was a really adorable blonde that came into our lives. Palmer the Lab I didn't care for being outside, the darkness and snow. I had never really understood what it meant to go for a hike, or a bike ride on trails. But Palmer helped me discover my love for exploring again. Just like getting my license, or when my dad would let me ride my bike farther and farther from the house in 3rd grade, I felt a need to go farther and farther.
In 2011 I bought my first fat bike, nicknamed the HULK. A Green, 170mm spaced 9:ZERO:7. I started to look into racing fat bikes and one day stumbled over the Susitna 100 and the Iditarod Trail Invitational. Guys like Tim Berntson, Jeff Oatley, Kevin Breitenbach, Pete Basinger, Jay Petervary, John Lackey all seemed like rockstars to me! (Don't tell them I said that.) Like many others I watched in awe. I knew that I one day wanted to take this event on. And so I developed a plan.
Some of you may have seen or remember my emo Susitna 100 videos. They're rather comical to watch now. I finished in 8 something hours. The stretch from Rohn to Nikolai this year took over 20. Hahahaha
I decided to try the Iditasport 225 in 2015. Man that race really showed me a new world. Sleep deprivation, cold weather, general route finding, gear setups. Not long after that while in Boston to watch my then girlfriend Laura run the Boston Marathon, I sent off my application to participate in the 2016 Iditarod Trail Invitational.
I remember this day very well. It was a sunny day in downtown Boston.
What a year to sign up! John Lackey had just set the record to McGrath, faster than the dogs! The year prior Jeff Oatley hauled butt all the way to Nome in 10 days! It was a time of growth for the race for sure. Trackleaders website was really starting to catch on for all the different bikepacking events including the ITI. The professional "dot watchers" were born.
My first finish. 2016 PC ITI
Ooof. I was really cold and got some frostbite. My second finish in 2017. PC ITI
My third finish in 2018. PC Laura Fox
My fourth finish and fastest time. PC ITI
Just before we got on the plane 2020. PC Corrie Smith
So here we are now. I've had an incredible time getting here and I wouldn't change a damn thing. My dad, family and friends have always and continue to support me. I've met amazing people, seen amazing things and experienced parts of myself that I don't think I would've found had I not been daydreaming as a little kid on W. 27th Avenue. I feel like now I'm ready to give a race report.
